i just hope that i don’t become bitter in my patience waiting for eventually.

i was telling tatum that i had nothing to say.  that i miss being random.  being a fortune cookie.  i miss how my mind used to shoot back and forth.

i talked to judy about writing.  about how i’ve stopped.  how i’m not as creative as i used to be.

i said i felt empty.  and that its been a really long time.  but tatum, her witty self, said that that means i’m more full than usual. 

or maybe, its that i don’t know where to begin.  maybe its that i’ve been suppressing all these emotions…thinking that i can handle it all myself…but i’ve seemed to have forgotten how good it feels to be lost inside myself.  to chase, to race, to face my heart head on.  i’ve forgotten how to let it all go. 

or maybe…i’ve let it all go.  and i’ve just forgotten.

maybe i’ll write a better entry later. 

or maybe, i won’t.