i remember when i was little….i used to think that my mind…inside my mind…was kinda like the twilight zone or something (maybe its trite…oh well)…but yeah…so there’s just this big hallway with all these doors. its not very pretty. its just big white hallways. brown closed doors. and the doors…some are open. and some are locked.  some have cobwebs on them. i used to be so scared of those doors. but recently, i’ve been trying to find the key.  and then i start thinking about the secret garden… and how the girl found that wall….and found a key hole and searched so hard for the key. its like everyday i go searching for keys…. keys to unlock whatever it is inside my mind…that will help me understand who i am. and this hallway….i’m not sure if it ends. because i don’t know what’s behind the doors.  and i think that’s a major key (no pun intended)….of what keeps me going.

so what happens when i open all those doors…or just a lot of them….well, i don’t want to close them.  i don’t like to live behind closed doors, or at least so i tell myself.  and yet i always find myself peering through the peephole.  i hate it.  i want to open doors.  its just…i’m afraid that when all those doors are open…..it will all be too much.  maybe i’ll open my door more often.  i’m workin on it.  hah…it just…i feel like i have to clean up a li’l first.  (oh the ambiguity!) 

<sigh> off to my lab.