Bear V. Shark: The Classic Game of Strategy and Entertainment

(by C.H. Bachelder)

For 280 million or more players
Ages 0 to adult

Equipment: Major media, Internet, domed stadium, corporate sponsorship, First Amendment, patriotism, military bases, unemployment, sweatshops, complacent and politically impotent populace, homicide, crack cocaine, fashion, standardized tests
Setup: Give each player a Television a second mortgage, a mind-numbing job, a staggering Visa debt, and a set of fast food action figures
Gameplay: Each player watches Television
Object: To perform meaningful work and forge rewarding connections with other human beings
Winning: Ha!